Personalised funerals

In our latest research, we found that 50% of those surveyed said they hadn't discussed their funeral wishes with friends or family in any form. While, of those that had, just under one fifth (17%) had broached the subject in any detail.

When surveyed, 57% of our colleagues said that they had seen a shift in people choosing less traditional funerals. This could be a celebration of life ceremony rather than a traditional funeral or a funeral taking place outside a religious setting.

So what are some of the ways you can create a personalised funeral? And how can you kickstart that conversation so the person arranging your funeral knows about the personal touches you want when the time comes? Read our guide to personalised funerals below.

Music that matters

Music is a great place to start when it comes to talking about funeral wishes. Talking about music is an easy way to open up a bigger conversation around funeral wishes, rather than talking about burial or cremation, for example. Some of our most vivid memories are soundtracked by music. It has the power to transport us to a specific time in our lives. Even if someone hasn’t thought about their funeral wishes in detail, they’re likely to have a favourite song that they’d like to play on the day.

You can have any music you like at a funeral, from traditional hymns to chart hits, TV theme tunes or even live music. Popular songs, like Frank Sinatra’s My Way, are firm funeral favourites, as are light-hearted tunes such as Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

Meaningful flower arrangements

Flowers are a popular part of many funerals, but you can choose something more personalised and unique than a traditional wreath or spray if you want. Co-op florist Jane Collingbourne says, “We’ve had all sorts of requests over the years: 3D arrangements, a smiley face emoji – and we’ve even created a floral tribute around a vinyl record.”

Whether your loved one liked building Lego, playing guitar or tending to their allotment, our florists will work with you to create a memorable arrangement that represents their hobbies and interests. But don’t worry if you’re unsure about which flowers to choose. Our network of florist’s can guide you through the process and make recommendations based on what’s in season.

Travelling in style

For many, the journey travelling to the funeral location can be just as important as the funeral service itself. Traditionally, a hearse would be used to carry the coffin to the church or crematorium, but this isn’t the only option available.

Over the years, our funeral directors have been asked to source specific vehicles that held significance in the life of the deceased. Requests have included a canal boat, a milk float, a motorcycle, and a tractor – with trailer. If your loved one was passionate about an activity, such as cycling, this can also be incorporated into their funeral procession.

If you’d prefer something more traditional, but still with a bespoke touch, flags, ribbons and even sticker decals can be added to one of our hearses. You can choose from a set design, or you could include a photo of your loved one.

Create a unique coffin

There’s a lot more choice for coffins than the type of wood – or wool or wicker – to consider for your loved one. Were they a singer or a big music fan? A fitting personal tribute could be a coffin decorated with musical notes. Did they like to make a statement with the clothes they wore? Perhaps a striking glitter coffin would suit them best.

You can also ask for memorable items to be placed beside them. Perhaps your loved one was a keen fisherman and would like to be dressed in full fishing gear or with their fishing rod alongside them. When it comes to placing a personal item inside the coffin, there’s countless ways to how this can be personalised.

Dress code

Another popular way to create a personalised funeral is by establishing a dress code. Traditional funeral attire is black clothing, but this isn’t how everyone wants to be remembered.

Some may choose to create a more light-hearted atmosphere with a less formal dress code. Maybe your loved one had a favourite colour that they’d love everyone to wear. Or maybe they loved the game of football and wanted people to wear their favourite team’s colours. Whatever their reasons or preferences, be sure to tell people the dress code on the invite.

The service itself

Did your loved one want a traditional service, or would they have preferred something more unconventional? Were they a religious person? Perhaps they loved being at one with nature and wanted an outdoor ceremony? When it comes to the service itself, there really is no limit to how it can be personalised to their personal tastes and preferences.

Maybe your loved one didn’t want any fuss at all, not even a service that people could attend, and that’s alright too. If they chose a direct burial or cremation, this allows you to celebrate them in your own way, in your own time.